Ever wondered what’s going on in your outie’s life on this seemingly unremarkable day of the year? Only specific constellations that correspond with the date of your birth know. Please enjoy each prediction equally.
Aries: Your outie frequently stays up all night arguing useless battles on the internet.
Taurus: Your outie critiques professional athletes, and often notes that they could’ve been one if they wanted but chose not to.
Gemini: Your outie harbors a deep admiration for Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Cancer: Your outie is craving a change to the monotony of their daily life. They are deciding between joining a cult or a gym. Either way you will suffer.
Leo: Your outie doesn’t walk, they strut.
Virgo: Your outie has amassed a large fortune of gold, jewels, and riches of all kinds that they hoard in a spacious “money bin,” which is perfect for swimming in.
Libra: Your outie opens hard boiled eggs like avocados to preserve the spherical shape of the yolk.
Scorpio: Your outie eats their peas one at a time and once ate four bananas in the same day.
Sagittarius: Your outie only eats the center brownie and the bottom of the muffin.
Capricorn: Your outie plans to purchase a Cybertruck.
Aquarius: Your outie expects praise for giving up their bus seat to the elderly.
Pisces: Your outie dreams vivid dreams that sometimes hint at the future, like that one time when they dreamed about banana bread and then ate a whole loaf the next day.