Lately, I have noticed myself picking up more habits associated with being a dad. From the jokes to the TV-watching stance, I’m getting concerned I’m turning into a dad without actually being one.

The most famous (infamous?) feature of dads is dad jokes. My dad is an expert at dad jokes, and both he and my uncle are both top-tier pun artists. I’ve learned from the best, and I’m worried I’m getting a bit too good at them a bit too quickly.

On Super Bowl Sunday 2025, my dad and a friend’s dad were standing, watching the game. They were standing the same way, in the same place, at the same angle, holding their beers with the same hand at the same height, with their other hand in their pocket the same way. Recently, I have found myself standing to watch sports on TV as well. At the same angle. With one hand in my pocket, and the other one holding a beverage.

But it’s not only standing while watching sports. Falling asleep while watching sports is also a rite of passage, one that I have also found myself doing on several occasions, going back as far as the 2023 Stanley Cup Playoffs. To be fair, it was after 11 p.m., but I fell asleep in front of sports nonetheless.

Furthermore, I may be 17, but a lot of my joints feel like they’re 71. My knees always hurt, my back always hurts, my shoulders don’t always work, one wrist is messed up … I could go on. I groan when I sit down, or stand up, or put my feet up on a footrest, or put my feet down on the floor. There’s always a joint that feels stiff and tired.

This past Thanksgiving, I volunteered to clean up the kitchen. This, more than anything else, concerns me and makes me think that I’m acting like a dad. My dad derives almost genuine enjoyment from cleaning up the kitchen, which I don’t understand, but I volunteered anyway? I dunno.

So, I’m 17 and still in high school, but I’ve already started preparing for adult life. So much so that I’m 30 years ahead of schedule. Go figure.