March, April, and May are emotional months for high school seniors. Some students are positively thrilled (or at least reasonably excited) about the school they’ve committed to, while others are disappointed. Whether it’s because of financial aid letdowns or rejection from a dream school, not everybody is happy in the end. Within any given friend group, seniors are likely feeling a combination of these feelings. So how do you deal with being disappointed while your friends celebrate, or celebrating while your friends are disappointed?

First of all, your feelings are valid and deserve space. That’s not to say that we should all bombard each other with college talk—many people don’t really want to talk about the process when everything is so fresh, and it’s important to respect that. But if you do want to talk about it, find someone who will listen! If you are currently feeling down about college, you may feel like it burdens your friends if you share that, but bottling up emotions is guaranteed to make things worse for you and them. Real friends will understand and support your feelings if you express them in a healthy way. Likewise, if you’re really excited, be excited!! While excessive discussion of colleges might come off as insensitive, you’re not wrong to be happy, and your friends want you to be happy too.

Wherever you are on the spectrum of college feelings, it’s important to surround yourself with supportive people and find things to like about the place that you’re going to spend the next four years of your life. I’m not advocating for toxic positivity or a refusal to acknowledge negative feelings felt by yourself or others—“just be happy” has never once helped me or anyone else feel better about anything (it usually makes things worse, really). That said, if you’re still disappointed by your chosen college, it’s important to understand why. Are you upset because the college you committed to doesn’t have a program you’re interested in? Or are you feeling an impact on your self-esteem? Knowing the ultimate cause of your feelings will help you find realistic solutions to the problems you’re perceiving, and it makes it easier to find reasons to like your college. If you’re already super happy with your college placement, that’s great! Make sure to make your friends feel good about their colleges too. That doesn’t mean telling everyone that they should be happy (again, not really helpful), but supportive comments or helpful pieces of information are great. Did you hear about a program at your friend’s school that you think they’d really like? Let them know!

Friends are meant to support each other through the good, the bad, and the in-between situations, and that applies to the college process too. So in this weird transitional period of endings and beginnings, make sure to make time for your friends! Whether it’s giving each other pep talks, taking a few minutes to grab coffee or tea together, or simply coexisting in silence, being there for each other is one of the best ways to make the end of high school feel less bitter and more sweet.