Has this ever happened to you? You’re doomscrolling through whatever news site or social media app you’ve sold your soul to and come across a worrying headline referencing some vague world issue you know next to nothing about. You don’t want to spend the 5 minutes reading or watching whatever it is, so instead you just scroll past. This should be fine, but the haunting stories keep flooding your feed, till every other post is all about how everything’s on fire, governments all around the world are set to collapse, and humanity is doomed. You’re overwhelmed with bad news, sucked into a terrifying black hole of intrusive thoughts and paranoia. There’s no way out, and you’re convinced you’re going to die in there alone.
If this sounds even remotely familiar, I feel for you. You must be tired, scared, and pleading with whatever higher power you believe in: “Please! Save me from my never-ending torment; free me from this prison you and my own cursed brain have trapped me in.”
Fear not, raving lunatic. Using an innovative step-by-step technique perfected by yours truly, I can free your mind from the stress of living on this planet and leave you free to relax, focus on the important stuff, and live your best life.
Step 1: Just breathe. I know everything seems crazy right now, and that must be stressing you out, but right now, all you need to do is take a second, drop what you’re doing, and breathe. We’re going to take this one step at a time, and we’re going to get through this. Together.
Step 2: You need to get off the grid RIGHT NOW. Delete all social media accounts, throw your phone in the Hudson, do whatever you have to do to detach yourself completely from the outside world. You’ll be completely free from attention-hogging news outlets, and ready to live a more fulfilling life. Can’t drown in bad news if the bad news never reaches you!
Step 3: Now you’re living in a state of blissful ignorance—or so you thought! Unfortunately, people around you are still keeping in touch with reality, and if you spend enough time with them, you might start to overhear some unpleasant details about the way some things in the world are going. To prevent this, cease contact with all people in your life who have a tendency to bring up those disagreeable topics (you know the ones). Family, friends, loved ones; ditch them all. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.
Step 4: Take up gardening. It’s relaxing, fulfilling, and a much better source of food than the POISON being pumped into supermarket products. Did you know that apples sold in supermarkets are usually coated with wax to make them look more appetizing to poor suckers such as yourself? You’re eating wax! And the other food products sold are just as bad. You can’t trust supermarkets, you can only trust yourself.
Step 5: Stop going outside. A few months ago (before I entered a state of total zen), I scrolled past a TikTok that briefly mentioned that the government has SATELLITES. Who knows what they’re using those for? They could be spying on you right now, and you would be none the wiser. But you’re smart. You’re going to be ten steps ahead. You’re going to purchase an underground bunker and fill it with flasks, non-perishables, and enough heat lamps to replace the sun. They can only spy on the overworld, so you’ll make sure they’ll never find you there again. Plus with no windows, you’ll never catch a glimpse of what’s outside. No harmful distractions!
Step 6: Congratulations! You’re safe from the outside world. After following these foolproof steps, there’s no way you’ll ever be bothered by anything bad going on out there ever again. It’ll be like it’s not even happening!
…So why can’t you stop thinking about it?
Because it’s still happening. All of it. All of the bad stuff you’ve overheard or scrolled past is still going on. And sitting here alone in your doomsday shelter, you don’t feel any better than you did before you shut yourself off from everything bad going on in the world. Your life hasn’t gotten better, and life definitely hasn’t gotten any better for the people the bad stuff was actually affecting in the first place. It’s all still real and hasn’t gone away just because you’ve chosen to ignore them.
So you sell the bunker, give up on gardening (at least for doomsday preparation), and fish your phone out of the Hudson. You’ve learned a valuable lesson: Ignoring the world’s problems does not fix your mental health. So what should you do instead?
We should still try to stay informed about what’s going on in the world. The more people know about an issue, the better suited we are to do something about it. And together, we can actually get something done!
But that doesn’t mean you should obsess. It can be very easy to see what’s going on in the news and spiral. Unfortunately, people like us can only do so much, and larger world issues are often out of our control. Contribute to issues you believe in with what you can—both mentally and physically—and leave it at that. To keep yourself from returning to the bunker, you need to find a balance, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about taking a break from the larger world to focus on your own life—it’s hard enough on its own.
So, the next time you’re doomscrolling and feel yourself going down a rabbit hole, put the phone down (DO NOT throw it this time—it may be a government tracking device but it’s an expensive government tracking device) and take a break. You’ve earned it.