What is your GPA? How many people liked your last Instagram post? How many calories did you burn by walking today? How much can you lift? What did you get on the SAT? These are all quantitative questions—number questions. And there is a place for them, sometimes. But when we use number questions to measure our value or judge our success, they become obstacles in our paths to being proud of ourselves.

I myself am incredibly guilty when it comes to living my life by the numbers. Yes, I want to have a 95+ in every class, write in every issue of The Echo, have a high SAT score, earn a five on every AP, and work out at least ten hours a week. And it would be pretty great if I could maintain that 24/7, 365 days a year, but that’s not realistic. When I can’t live up to my own very high expectations, I become very self-critical. I don’t consider my circumstances, the progress that I’ve made, how much I’ve inspired other people, or even all of the expectations that I do meet—I only see the numbers that fall short. That’s not healthy, and it’s not kind, and it’s also not something I would do to another human because it would of course be really mean.

While there is a place for numbers in our life—your GPA is a useful indicator of how well you are keeping up with your schoolwork, for example—they are designed to serve as benchmarks, not as accurate measures of a person, and you shouldn’t let them dictate your self-esteem or cloud your view of what’s important. Sure, other people may be scoring higher on exams, squatting more weight, or getting more post engagement. It may even feel like some people are effortlessly better than you at literally everything. But most people are quick to show off their most impressive achievements and prefer to keep quiet when they are struggling. Keep in mind that you could be comparing yourself to someone who’s been working towards a specific goal for years on end. You could be comparing yourself to someone who is sacrificing their mental and physical health to maintain their “numbers.” At the end of the day, it’s not possible to know exactly how everyone else is doing—the only person who you truly spend every second with is yourself. That can make it really easy to feel like a failure, because how could a realistic picture of yourself compare to an incomplete and possibly romanticized picture of somebody else? If you find yourself comparing your “numbers” to someone else’s, or to the expectations that you have for yourself, and you think you’re falling short, I recommend asking yourself these questions: Does your body feel good? Do you understand the content that you’re learning in school? Do you feel like you have satisfying social interactions? Are you happy with the way you spend your time? If the answer to all of these questions is yes, you’re doing just fine. And if you’re not doing fine, that’s okay too. But I pretty much guarantee that your next exam score won’t change that feeling in a significant way (if it could, there wouldn’t be so many self-critical and stressed out straight-A students). Consider asking a classmate to tutor you, be your homework buddy, or help you study for your exam. Reach out to your friends, or to a trusted adult, if you are struggling mentally. Find a form of exercise that you actually really enjoy, and do it when you feel able. If you feel more successful and more happy (which is the most important thing anyways), the numbers will follow, but your numbers cannot guarantee your happiness or success.

Here’s something I wish I had known earlier, and something that I am still trying to believe: While test grades and exam scores feel relevant now, getting an 80 versus a 90 or a 90 versus an 100 will not have a significant impact on your life as a whole. When people remember your best qualities, they will think of your charm, intelligence, dedication, and kindness, not the exact number of books you’ve read this year or how many days you decided to rest instead of going to the gym. In a world where we’re taught to quantify and distill our achievements, please remember to prioritize your quality of life today.